Travel Agents / Tour Guides

Are we unable to label ourselves as leaders because we aren’t sure of our own definition of the term? Do pre/miss-conceptions stop us from being everyday leaders because we are so wrapped up in seeing leaders are world changers with tangible outcomes? [Barack Obama, Richard Branson, Nelson Mandela] we see leadership as achieving something through a movement which can be measured as opposed to intrinsic and intangible moments and opportunities to make someone’s life different or better?

Or is that what makes it interesting and intriguing, that leaders and leadership look different to everyone.. so by having these ideologies we create our own unique leader of ourselves? This then makes developing leaders difficult, we have to change attitudes before being able to develop them.

 

Sometimes we seem to forget that leadership isn't a position, or rather a position doesn't make you a leader. John Maxwell would say leadership positions and forced followers is level 1, probably not really leadership at all. Real leadership comes when followers follow because they want to, because the 'leader' puts other people first and in the right seats on the bus. 

 

At times, people feel the need to have a 'leadership position' before they feel they can develop as a leader. But returning to the top, if we can change the thoughts we have of what a leader is, we can completely change the way we look at things ourselves. 

 

There are people in 'leadership positions' who maybe aren't even leaders at all, because leadership is a choice, a conscious decision to look after the person next to you, and the people around you. Leaders are willing to sacrifice themselves for others, whatever that sacrifice looks like. Too often, perhaps, perceived leaders sacrifice others to helps themselves. They've got it wrong. 

 

You cant buy leadership, you cant buy followers. Research seems to suggest that leadership comes from small acts [not always small] of showing the importance of others, making them feel safe. How often do we communicate through methods because it's easy - not because it's right. How safe are our organizations and groups from top to bottom, inside to out? 

 

An analogy which resonates really well, a leader isn't and cant be a travel agent - someone who sits in a plush office telling people where to go, even though they probably haven't been there before. Leaders are tour guides, they take people with them.

Is the leader the travel agent who persuades you to take the safari, or the guide who sits with you along the way?

The one happy to throw you into danger, or the one who knows when and how to let you tamper with danger?

 

A want to grow beyond your role, is that a leader? Or is that part of a culture created by leaders who understand that to support others you have to keep on developing and growing yourself.

 

Is leadership therefore a culture? A culture which differs from perception to perception. It is this wanting to help the person next to you, the want to travel together which supports Football Futures? That's the FF culture, and seems to be present in those who truly understand the programme.

 

Can leadership be a culture? Or can leadership inspire a culture? Or is culture created and lived through a certain type/ way of being a leader?

 

Who we are is who we attract. If we continue to be travel agents, we continue to sacrifice others for our own gain. If we create tour guides, we sacrifice ourselves to support others.

Mindfulness

An aim for the season is to understand and develop mindfulness. A route to making sense of emotions, being able to understand them to move on and away from them. Through uni developing a mindset/ outlook which isn't black and white has taken time, seeing in shades of grey. 

It is 1 things to see in shades of grey, another to act and respond in the same way. 

Mindfulness is being able to focus the mind on the present. Not ruminating on the past, worrying over the future - but enjoying the moment, which is every moment.

A nice analogy of mindfulness and a way to think of it, dealing with emotions as if they are visitors coming to your guest house or just house in general. If you give them a negative response, that's how they will stay. The best way to go is by having a positive outlook, being welcoming throughout and then letting them pass when necessary. 

By acknowledging emotions / thoughts they lose power. We start to create stories to make us feel better, allowing emotions to manifest by leaving them be. 

A great deal of mindfulness comes with the ability to notice.. to notice when thoughts are being hijacked. I guess, noticing when the chimp takes over and being able to rein him/her in. There are many ways in which to developing mindfulness which stem from being present to a sense. 

Science and research shows that we as humans cannot access more than 1 sense at a time, we cant. We cant hear fully whilst tasting, we cannot put our attention 100% into feeling whilst also seeing. Having an sense which also includes breathing as an anchor offers a starting point, when we feel thoughts drifting we come back to this. 

An interesting concept to tame the mind, thoughts and emotions which seem to rule the world upstairs. Challenge is finding methods and exercises to develop mindfulness, just like exercising a muscle, we need to exercise the brain.. make it feel uncomfortable and put in the effort to develop being present. 

What is a leader?

Canadians define the 'leader' as the first boat going out to test the water.. which is great if you're a Canadian stuck in the past.What if leaders and leadership is bigger than that? What if leaders are the ones at the front, middle and back.. the stray boats who join half way through.. the ones lagging behind? What if, leaders are everyday people?

The thing with leaders and people who we admire/ look up to is that we try to imitate and copy them. Take the traits we like and make them our own.. which is fine, but halo-led plagiarism isn't going to help anyone if we don't modify traits and make them fit for purpose.

Returning to previous thoughts around the leader who I most admire and why, I was asked last week to draw the attribute that person has.. so I drew the below.

To much amusement, this is a stick man representing me, bouncing on a trampoline which is my Dad. I've not lost the plot. A trampoline represents support. I would go as far as saying all of my admired leaders have a position around the outside of this.. all holding tight but in their own position. 

A a person jumps, the outcome isn't a result of the trampoline springs alone, but mainly built up of the effort put in by the jumper.. ie: me. This effort is supported by the springs and trampoline. 

You kind of need an even spread for this to work. Springs all on one side help nobody, just a half hearted point of relying too much on the same people. A spread across the circle creates a starting point, but I guess those springs have to be springs.. not like metal pylons or tree branches who will snap under any pressure. But people who trust that your bounce wont hurt them, but test them as much as you.

That trampoline will support you on your way up from a jump, but also support you on your way back down. But the key to jumping high is the effort you put in. 

My Dad has always encouraged me to make my own mistakes and do what I enjoy even if it doesn't make me reach the highest peaks of financial wealth.. it's about enjoyment and that's worth a lot more. So it's up to me as the jumper to try a back flip [not advisable], or to land on my bottom, to find a rhythm and jump as high as I can consistently or whatever I choose. 

If my Dad is the person I admire most and we copy those who we hold close.. is it wrong for me to want to be a trampoline or even just a spring? Does it make sense that after being put in an environment to allow mistakes to happen, I'm happy to offer that support to other people?

Maybe that's where I'm at. By examining who I admire as a leader, I can see similarities and start to link where my traits may have been born or stolen from. 

Is it then irony, that after speaking to my Dad about leadership stuff, he said he has support me and my siblings to be who we want to be.. but I've ended up being a bit like him? This may not be so, but the research is pretty strong. If we pick up behaviours from those who we admire, copy them on an unconscious basis, maybe we can conform to the personality and character of a person as a whole. 

Research also suggests we resist things we don't agree with.. but we cant agree with something until we have an opinion or reason not to. Where does that reason come from? Experience and previous habits. Where do initial habits and opinions come from.. those who we're around a lot as a child and growing up. 

Only when we stop and think, are these my values or those of someone I spend a lot of time with. Are these my opinions, or those of someone who I want to impress.

Leading The Self

'Be a zoo keeper, always open the zoo.'

At the time of writing, this was a thought of who I am when leading others. Who am I when in situation when I am required to work with or deal with others. But, at no point did I consider the person I am when leading myself.

Weird thought, but we lead ourselves 24/7 and we're the person we want to be.. but do we consider how we wish to lead ourselves on a daily basis? Probably not.

May be a straight forward thought and clear common sense, but a leadership philosophy should resist and pull into all 'leadership' scenarios, so possibly all day everyday?

As stolen from a friend, 'coaches are role models whether they want to be or not.' [or words to that effect] I'd go as far as, we're all role models whether we want to be or not. At any moment, people are watching us. Just thinking about the small things we unconsciously copy from others, we're being leaders all of the time.

So, this philosophy, is who we are and what we live on a daily basis.. it just so happens to be based and ignited around what we class as 'leadership' scenarios.. typically leading others.

But leading the self, that's quite a difficult job.

Recent weeks/ events have led to think and know, that I have to be a zoo keeper all the time.. and sometimes the zoo is myself. How do I open and present myself? What does the SN Zoo - which I think describes it rather well - look like to the visitors who I come into contact with on a daily basis. And to me.

This is getting a little too deep, but I guess that's good. How I look after myself, when nobody is looking is just as important as the person I am in-front of anybody in any scenario.

If I don't look after the personal zoo, that's going to restrict the ability to look after a group of people.

I think that, I need to stop thinking of leadership as something which needs to involve somebody else.. because it doesn't.

Just like the phrase, 'how can other people believe in you, if you don't believe in yourself.' I guess you cant lead other people, if you cant lead yourself.

Food for thought. If I was to publically display the way I treat myself - leading the self - would that incur the response I would want if I were to lead others in the same way? A very honest question, and one I don't like the answer to.

This week I have been told, 'expectation is the mother of all frustrations' and know I put the bar well above my head for standards and judge myself and respond to that in a way I would to nobody else. Why? have I become accustomed to it? Am I willfully blind to the effect it has on me? I think so.

If I were to lead others the way I lead the self, nobody would ever want to follow.

Something's not right.